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The Les Mis Anon Kink Meme, Round 6
exit pursued by javert
10littlebullets wrote in makinghugospin
Since LJ seems to have finally capitulated to the Russian government and is now subject to Russian anti-obscenity laws, I'm not going to take a chance on sudden deletions. The Les Mis kinkmeme now lives at https://lesmiskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/. (Round 6 here.) Everything has been backed up there. The LJ kinkmeme will stay up, but is now closed to new comments.

Enjolras/Javert

(Anonymous)
Fuck the police.
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Ami/Enjolras, Enjolras/OMC, masturbation, tw: non-con

(Anonymous)
Any ami (preference for either Grantaire or Combeferre, but if it's a dealbreaker, go ahead) kind of sees Enjolras and a guy, but stays out of sight (behind a wall with a hole,...) himself.
Enjolras and unknown guy are having sex. Ami is unsure; on the one hand, this is Enjolras the pure virgin, who would n e v e r. On the other hand, this is Enjolras the pure virgin, and if he didn't want the sex, he would communicated that plain enough, with one of his icy stares. Besides, ami thinks that nobody could be so preposterous to defile someone as pure as Enjolras.

Ami watches. Ami notices he's getting aroused by the image. Ami masturbates. Best orgasm of his life.

Only afterwards, when Unknown Guy leaves, ami discovers that Enjolras really /was/ raped. Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Cue a l l the guilt: not only didn't he help E, but he also got off to him being raped.

The rest is up to you. As is the era (though I do prefer canon era, but again, if that's a dealbreaker, choose any era you wish!).
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Re: Ami/Enjolras, Enjolras/OMC, masturbation, tw: non-con

I'm going to start crying.

w h y
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AU in which sodomy is considered progressive in 1830s France

(Anonymous)
Ok just. Just. What if.
Very conservative people consider it really scandalous. ("Oh, today's young men, always buggering each other! When I was young, nobody would've even thought of such a horrible thing! We should forbid it.") Conservative people consider it annoying. ("How odd, those young people with their doeskin slippers and sodomy and ideas of a free press.") But with progressive people, it's standard to tolerate, accept and, in some cases, partake in sodomy. If you didn't, your friends would be shocked that you express such antiquated views.

I don't care if you take this and go the humor road, or if you make it more serious. I just think such a scenario would be wonderful to explore. Maybe Courfeyrac wants to stay fashionable, and although he has no inclinations towards men, has sex with them either way to 'stay cool'? Maybe Marius, when first meeting les amis, expresses he thinks that only sex with a woman is real sex, and is shot down spectacularly by Combeferre? Maybe Enjolras approaches Grantaire with an offer because he thinks he should try this buggery-thing, since it's tied so closely to his political ideals, but Grantaire turns him down because that wouldn't mean anything? And maybe Javert and JVJ have a discussion about today's youth (tm) and one of them doesn't dare mention he kinda likes the idea?

I don't know. Go wild. :)
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Re: AU in which sodomy is considered progressive in 1830s France

Yessss
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Petting Javert

(Anonymous)
Javert is touch starved, this we all know, so when someone touches him he just melts in to a puddle. Madeleine uses touch as a reward for Javert, for example, if the Inspector has stopped a robbery he earns a few rubs on the head or neck. At the end of each week, Javert goes to the mayor's house and sits by Madeleines feet with his head on Madeleine's lap and listens to the mayor read as he strokes Javert.
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Valvert Urethral play

(Anonymous)
They decide to try something new, rather, Javert wants to try something new and Valjean is pulled along as the hapless assistant.
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Re: Valvert Urethral play

(Anonymous)
OH DEAR GOD YES PLEASE!
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Javert the politician, Valjean the clerk

(Anonymous)
Javert is a rather Machiavellian politician in the Cabinet. Valjean is the apparently uncorruptable clerk being shifted from section to section when he refuses to keep scandles quiet.

How do they interact?
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Re: Javert the politician, Valjean the clerk

(Anonymous)
Haha! I'm guessing this prompt has been inspired by 'The Damnation of Harvey McHugh'

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Because I probably did not word this prompt correctly back in round five (was it four? I don't remember, I looked for it but I can't seem to find it)

Anyway, here it goes:

The Amis and Monster High.

Before, let me explain something here. In the Monster High books (Yes, there are books), the monsters have been disguised as humans for quite some time and attend school and the like, but then they are discovered and pretty much discriminated, at some point, normal people ('normies') are trying to scare them out of Salem, where they have lived for AGES and caused no trouble at all, and they have to hide away, at some point, Ghoulia (a zombie) decides to protest against this at the biggest mall in Salem, but well, she's a zombie, and no one really pays attention to zombies, and there's another protest for something else at the mall at that point, and no one really pays attention to Ghoulia.

So what if the protest was organized by Enjolras, and he sees this blue girl with her very slow looking boyfriend in a corner sulking, and asks them what's wrong and they veeeeeeeery slowly tell him the whole story and OMG DISCRIMINATION! WE NEED TO STOP THIS! How did this happen?!

tl;dr Enjolras decides they need to help the monsters, the solution is not to make another school for them and them only, nope, that's still discrimination. The opinion of the rest of the Amis is up to you.

Bonus points, cookies, a pony, a stripper and a bucket of fried chicken for Javert actually being a werewolf disguised as a normie, living a perfectly normal life, in a perfectly normal relationship with an actual human being who actually knows he's not normie (Valjean) with a perfectly normal adopted daughter who's never seen the problem with this.

Edited at 2013-08-28 11:41 pm (UTC)
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Bahorel/ Feuilly

(Anonymous)
Hi Kinky Friends! Guess what would make me super happy? So basically I would love some Bahorel/ Feuilly with virgin!feuilly and big!bahorel. Basically I just want a writhing, sobbing Feuilly and a super comforting and understanding Bahorel. And aftercare, because let's be real here, that's the best.... NO NONCON OR DUBCON PLEASE I REALLY DON'T LIKE READING DUBCON OR NONCON!!!
Thank you! (:
I'm not really sure how this website works (I'm new) so I'm not really sure where to find the fill, but I check the MHS tag on AO3
Thanks again!
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Re: Bahorel/ Feuilly

(Anonymous)
nomnomnom me gusta
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Crack: The Paris police

(Anonymous)
I'm so sorry, but today's Wikipedia featured article specifically cites the Paris police, and...yeah. "...In 1977, a Paris rationing system led to confusion: on an odd-only day, the police avoided fining drivers whose plates ended in 0, because they did not know whether 0 was even."

So, anything with Javert and/or colleagues being stymied by some ridiculously unexpected difficulty and getting fed up because math (or whatever) is not their thing, for crying out loud. Or maybe Javert has to deal with colleagues who are complaining...
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[Ami of your choice] gets caught humping a pillow/stuffed animal/blanket/etc. [Other Ami] is just a little confused and mostly oddly turned on by it. Where it goes after that is up to the filler.


OP would prefer e/R, courfeyrac/combeferre, bahorel/grantaire, or courfeyrac/marius, but you can pick a different pairing if you want to.
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Gavroche, Combefferre and homework

(Anonymous)
Can I please get a modern au where Combeferre tutors Gavroche and helps with his homework

If you can make it cute there's a cookie in it for you
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J/VJ 'Javert Knee'*

(Anonymous)
Javert injures his knee (how is up to a!a). Cue grouchy Javert and lots of help and comfort from Valjean.


*'Javert Knee' - A medically unrecognised joint problem that can afflict actors who have played the role of Javert.

The first I heard of it was during an interview given by Philip Quast: he explained how Roger Allam (and his La Cage Aux Folles co-star)was responsible for inventing the way Javert falls from the bridge and drops heavily onto one knee. Cameron Mackintosh loved it so much he insisted all other Javert's had to do it which, as Quast explained, is fine when you're about 30 but causes problems later in life. Roger Allam experienced the same problems and they both attributed it to their days of playing Javert, and thus they gave the problem joint a name and spent much time discussing and comparing their 'Javert Knee'.
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Re: J/VJ 'Javert Knee'*

(Anonymous)
Love the 'Javert Knee' issue. It would fit perfectly in another prompt I'm doing, so while I'm not claiming a fill, but there this prompt will get some attention at least (and of course I will drop the link here, too)
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E/r fluff

(Anonymous)
Enjolras and Grantaire have been together quite a while when Enjolras hears someone refer to him as "high maintenance." Enjolras becomes convinced that he's been a horrible boyfriend, and attempts rectify this with disastrous results (a romantic diner that's completely burnt, an awkward attempt a seduction, or whatever else comes to mind). It's up to Grantaire to make it all better.
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Combeferre/Jehan/Grantaire, selective mutism, panic attack

(Anonymous)
this prompt sounds a lot more extreme than it is, but for whatever reason you chose grantaire is triggered by fire, and it's what causes his mutism. jehan and combeferre are the only amis who know sign language, so for that reason they're closer to him than the others. anyway grantaire get's triggered one day when they're all out together and they both try to comfort him. i just want a lot of cuddling and cuteness tbh.
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misfits au

(Anonymous)
les amis doing time for a rally gone wrong or something, they're caught in a storm, and boom they all have powers

except grantaire who thinks he's useless and wow even the freak storm knew he didn't deserve any powers

that is until he takes a bullet for enjolras and finds out he's immortal
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Re: misfits au

(Anonymous)
p l e a s e
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op (Anonymous) Expand
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Courfeyrac/Amis, temporarily genderswap

(Anonymous)
Courfeyrac gets temporarily (for a week) turned into a girl. He knows it's temporary, and it's definitely weird, but he's also determined to make it the most fun it can be. He doesn't feel like it's his body he's in, even though he looks like his heretofore undiscovered female twin. However, instead of panicking, he sees it as an opportunity to have a shitton of fun with a ridiculously attractive female who obeys his brain's commands. He'd panic if it was permanent, but as it's not, goddammit it will be awesome.

To maximize his (and everyone else's) fun, he decides to give his body to his friends. He likes guys and girls, he's open about his sexuality, and he doesn't feel like he's actually exposing himself, because it's not his real body. Everyone else gets to do pretty much everything they've ever even thought about doing, because Courfeyrac wants experimentation and variety as much as possible.

Bonuses!
-Courfeyrac spends a lot of his time naked and touching himself. What can he say? He's hot. His friends spend a lot of time with uncomfortable boners.
-Courfeyrac hijacks a meeting by showing up naked and asking to get gangbanged. Enjolras is peeved but can't bring himself to care that much.
-Many experiments are done (How much stuff can he fit inside of him? What is anal like as a girl? Can he squirt? Can he have multiple orgasms? etc).

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Re: Courfeyrac/Amis, temporarily genderswap

(Anonymous)
oh my god YES
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R/Jehan

(Anonymous)
so idk the amis realise that they don't know when R's birthday is so they decide to do a surprise 'birthday' party just because they can (and things are slow on the revolution front idk). okay and they all get him birthday presents (quite pointedly not alcohol) and jehan writes him a poem about how beautiful he thinks R is inside and out despite everyone thinking he's nothing more than an unattractive, cynical drunk and then they go and have sweet tender sex.

bonus points if r memorises the poem, triple bonus points if there's a notable size difference between them. (i like e/R but i'd really really like for this not to have r pining over e pls) i just want jehan making r feel good about himself and it ends in sex.

preferably canon-era but i'm really not fussy.

long prompt is long.
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Re: R/Jehan

(Anonymous)
When you say "size difference", who would you prefer be the smaller one?
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Cosette/Jean Valjean, daddy kink

(Anonymous)
"She called him father and knew no other name for him." Both Cosette and Valjean get off on Cosette calling him Papa when he fucks her.

Bonus if Cosette likes it rough as much as she likes it gentle.

Please don't let Cosette be any younger than 17.
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Re: Cosette/Jean Valjean, daddy kink

(Anonymous)
Oh I want this
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Valjean and Javert Wartime lovers

(Anonymous)
Because I've watched too much Long Lost Family

One of them, prbably Javert, is an army soldier, the other is a civilian local. They begin a relationship, contrary to orders, which results in Javert being reposted home.

They try to keep contact, but at one point the hain is broken. the soldier assumes his love has found another and stops writing. The civilian keeps writing but eventually gives up.

Years later, whichever role Valjean is playing, Cosette and Marius put him down for a TV programme where they seek for missing friends or lovers.

Happy end please
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Piningjolras, R/Montparnasse, eventual E/R

So Enjolras and Grantaire have an understanding - whether it is spoken or not is up to author - wherein Enjolras is Grantaire's muse in exchange for Grantaire being a well-behaved shit at Les Amis meetings. Meaning, he still argues and debates with Enjolras but is less disruptive/drunk about it.

Then, gradually, Grantaire's muse shifts from Enjolras to Montparnasse. No one is sure what is happening - they just know that Grantaire stares less at Enjolras, argues less with him and generally pays no attention at meetings because he's too busy sketching/thinking about Montparnasse.

Little do they know that it's because Grantaire has decided that it is time to move on from his fruitless crush on Enjolras and find someone else who reciprocates his feelings - and that someone happens to be Montparnasse.

So, cue worried Les Amis, pining Enjolras, torn Grantaire and notabusive!Montparnasse - why Montparnasse and Grantaire break up is up to the author. E/R ending is not an absolute must but is preferable.
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Re: Piningjolras, R/Montparnasse, eventual E/R

(Anonymous)
I never realized how much I want R/Monty until now. Any interaction between R and the P-M would be really interesting.
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Post-sewer, Valjean tries to resuscitate Marius with some mouth-to-mouth. Marius wakes up and gets totally the wrong idea. Bonus points if Javert walks in at just the wrong moment and Valjean tries to convince Javert "No, really, he's dead."
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It's awkward and cute. I really want to read this!
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Sassy Valjean

(Anonymous)
Valjean finally notices that his being nice all the time causes people to walk all over him, and he finally gets fed up with it. So he becomes a super smart-alecky, passive-agressive sassbag, especially with Javert and in his conversations with God. Because he already kind of is. Bonus points if he and Cosette have a sass-off.
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Mon Cher Javert

(Anonymous)
I see this sometimes in valvert fics, and I'm sorry, but all it makes me imagine is Javert in drag as Cher.

You're welcome for the image.

But just imagine it more thoroughly: A dimly lit pub somewhere in the bowels of Paris, where only the most depraved of men and boys dare venture for their entertainment. They know what they heard of the next performance, but not what to expect. And then...the curtains rise, revealing what could only be a goddess of sensuality and independent spirit, dressed to lure men wherever she wants them to go. The men already approve, grinning to show yellow and brown teeth in the murky luminescence.

The spotlight shines. She speaks!

"You know nothing of Javert! Nor do you know of mon Cher!"

*insert sassy drag show here*

Anyway, I want someone to write about that. Or draw it. Or just take the idea into their minds for a few seconds and have fun with it. I would write something myself, but as I'm the worst gay ever, this is all I got DX

So, uh. Yeah. Have a nice day!
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Oh my God! xD
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Re: Mon Cher Javert (Anonymous) Expand
Re: Mon Cher Javert (Anonymous) Expand
Madeleine goes through an angsty phase (similar to Cosette's) where he realizes that he is attractive. It never occured to him that the ladies would like a muscle-bound older man, and now all the bourgeois men in town are throwing their teenage daughters at him. He thinks it's disgusting, but at the same time he kind of likes all the attention. And damn, it feels good to be valued for his body in a positive way.
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"Oh no...I'm hot!"

*Valjean weeps as the women of M-sur-M stroke his hair in the creepiest AXE commercial ever made*
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E/R - multiple orgasms

(Anonymous)
R pushing Enjolras through multiple orgasms despite soreness/oversensitivity/etc, because Grantaire has a thing for it. Up to you whether Enjolras is willing to let him or if it's more of a dub con-y situation. Bottom!Enjolras preferred if it comes to that.
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