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The Les Mis Anon Kink Meme, Round 6
exit pursued by javert
10littlebullets wrote in makinghugospin
[Round 6: No vacancy]Official rules/FAQ/Page-A-Mod post is there for reference, but you know how it works by now. Be nice, no kink-shaming, this is not the place to have it out with people who are Wrong On The Internet, detailed lists of kinks in headers are good, no RPF except for historical figures. Link to your fills (complete or incomplete) on the Fill Post. NKMWA = No Kink Meme Warnings Apply; see rules post for details. Mods reserve the right to enforce reasonable standards of conduct even if they are incapable of explicitly enumerating every possible way someone could act like an asshat online.

Previous rounds: One | Two | Three | Four | Five
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Mods are 10littlebullets, scuttlebuggy, and enjolrassy. If you have a question or suggestion, or see a thread going pear-shaped faster than the Revolution of 1830, don't hesitate to get in touch: leave a comment on the Rules/Page-A-Mod post, or PM any of us, or email 10littlebullets at 96belowthewave@gmail.com.

The previous round's moratorium on E/R woobification/vilification prompts is no longer in effect, but back-and-forth grudge-prompting will still get frozen if it starts to escalate.

Note on spam filtering: At the moment, LiveJournal is marking all comments with links in them as spam and they are being sent to quarantine. If your comment is caught by the spam filter, a mod will unscreen it within 24 hours, but it won't show up in email notifications to meme subscribers. For this reason, anyone linking to a fill on AO3 is encouraged to post other identifying info (title, author if applicable, and story ID--the number portion of the URL) instead of a full link for the time being. Same goes for Tumblr and YouTube links if you want to avoid the spam filter: username, title if applicable, video/post ID. If linking to another site, you might be able to evade the spam filter by writing out the domain name and separating it from the rest of the URL, but no guarantees.

Check in at Round 7!

Cosette/Marius, prostitution

Valjean doesn't get to Cosette and she winds up a prostitute. (Or modern AU with the same idea, whatever). But she stays sweet and kind and hopeful, because that's just who she is.

Marius is a virgin, so his friends (or him, again, whatever) decide that the only way for him to get it over with is to hire a prostitute. Enter Cosette. Except, they're pretty much soulmates, so they sit and talk and stare into each other's eyes, and no sex is had and Marius pays her anyway. And keeps coming back to not have sex with her (but still pay her for her time) because he's so in love.

His friends are worried (you pay her way too much, don't actually have sex with her, and you're ridiculously nice, of course she'll act like she's into you). And maybe they eventually have sex, but it's still sweet and loving, because they adore each other, and they are pretty much the personifications of cupcakes.

Re: Cosette/Marius, prostitution

The personifications of cupcakes, tho...

valjean/javert with chastity devices

Copy/pasted from the anon meme. Sorry anon who originally posted this but I can't get it out of my head.

Valjean and Javert using chastity devices, especially for the control aspect. My favorite is where Valjean asks Javert to put him in a device and tease him for as long as possible, with orgasm denial that goes on for days or weeks until he can't take it anymore and degrades himself and begs for Javert to fuck him against the nearest surface.

Re: valjean/javert with chastity devices

I'll just squirrel this into my ever-growing 'I didn't know I wanted this until I read it' collection.


based on this beautiful post: http://arkhams.tumblr.com/post/54036187635/margaritina-arkhams-hey-so-uhh-looks

just R going:
hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr

and enjolras thinks it's the most adorable thing and it just makes him intensely aroused and just yes

Re: e/R


Any Ami, chronic pain

So I've been pretty down recently about the fact that I've been living with chronic back pain for years and I'm only 20. So I'd love some blatant hurt/comfort where one Ami has chronic pain (back pain or anything, I don't care) and the others are lovely and sweet and helpful and all that fluffy stuff. Depending on who they are they might respond in different ways; R might cope with pain by drinking (although OP does not and has never had a drink and has no idea if alcohol actually helps pain - is open to corrections); Combeferre might try and carry all his books around with him and then find he can't lift them at all and others help him; Joly might fret about how he's too young and what might happen in the future; Enjolras might do what I did and pretend everything's fine until he pushes himself too far and ends up in severe agony and stuck in bed.

Shameless self projecting prompt is shameless self projecting prompt. Open to any and all pairings but if you pair up Enjolras OP prefers him to be asexual as OP is asexual and likes to read him as asexual too. Actually personality wise we are much the same person :P

Re: Any Ami, chronic pain

Hey, nonny, just thought I'd say hi and offer my sympathy; I had chronic pain for four or five years, so I feel ya.


Javert has a certain suspiscion about the good mayor. He goes through a bunch of elaborate schemes to catch him and all of them fail until one day it hits him...

"So, Valjean how many years ago did you break parole?"
"About eight I bel... Um... I-... Mmmmm... Ate a role! I thought you asked the last time I ate a roll... Yeah that's what I thought you said..."

I think I need a 'perfect attendance to the kink meme' button or something.

No, but...

What if Les Mis was a Bollywood movie...

Someone please make this happen.

That prompt speaks to me. Oh gods WHYYY. /Bollywood lover 4 lyfe

Valvert TW: Soft Vore

One swallows the other after one is shrunken (no pref on who).

+Baby goat for belly rubs/pats and enjoyment of the fullness on the swallower's end.

Re: Valvert TW: Soft Vore

ETA: With a happy ending! -OP!anon

Jehan shotgunning

Shotgunning is like my ultimate kink and Jehan is my baby so yes I would like this to happen.
Preferrably Jehan/Montparnasse or Jehan/R but I'll be happy with anything.

Enjolras/Grantaire: From Tumblr

Reincarnation AU where Les Amis live together and everything just thinks that Grantaire’s sleepwalking is a quirk but in reality Grantaire wakes up disoriented and thinks that Enjolras is dying again and he has to go find him.

He was so close to missing him last time.

Re: Enjolras/Grantaire: From Tumblr

Oh my Lord. I'm writing this.

Barricade aftermath fic where some of the Amis survive, but one or more have major, permanent injuries, e.g. blinded by shrapnel and splinters from the barricade, etc. Just want to see the survivors taking care of each other, and coming to terms with their grief and losses.

+ Enjolras or Combeferre or Courfeyrac is the one blinded & one or both of the others are caring for him.
++ Grantaire died protecting Enjolras.
+++ Jehan survives.

No prison, torture or execution fic please (although I know it's unrealistic that they wouldn't have been imprisoned had they survived).

The hangover AU

Please, I need this AU in my life
Some suggestions:
- Marius is missing and he's literally getting married IN A FEW HOURS OH GOD WHERE IS HE
- Courfeyrac's a bit freaked out about the mysterious rash on his bod/ring on his finger/(both?)
- Bahorel's missing teeth?
- Feuilly shaved off his prize beard and blames Bahorel?
- Grantaire owns a monkey?
- Enjolras did something weird with a stipper and now everyone looks at him funny?
- there is a crazy Asian drug lord out for their blood?

Bonus points if Joly got a tattoo from an unclean tattoo parlour or a backyard one and it was a good idea when they were high but when he sees it the next day he FREAKS

Re: The hangover AU

Yes, please!

Can I suggest drunk!Combeferre being incredibly irresponsible and... stealing a tiger?

E/R arabian AU

Enjolras is someone important in the kingdom that actually hates the monarchy but doesn't really know how awful it is. he somehow got kidnapped by the infamous bandit, Grantaire. Enjolras tried to run away, only to get into much more trouble (coz he's pretty or something). When Grantaire brought him back to somekind of bandit headquarters (you know what i mean), he realized that the group of strange bandits (cue les amis) weren't exactly bad. He realized how awful the kingdom is and together, they stage a revolution. Meanwhile, the king keeps searching for Enjolras. Make it as long as you want :)

Hello! First time poster here so I hope I'm doing it right/not stepping on any toes by saying this. (I'm also hoping it hasn't been suggested before but I've not yet got through all the previous prompts so here's hoping...) Anyway. I've been wondering about some sort of Cloud Atlas crossover - with Grantaire and Enjolras as Frobisher and Sixsmith respectively or, a better fit, Courfeyrac (Frobisher) and Combeferre (Sixsmith). IDK this is more of a vague idea but if anyone has any ideas to run with (not necessarily with the above characters) then I'd love to see! Sorry if I've done this all wrong.


Drunk, overly-affectionate oblivious!Courfeyrac getting touchy-feely with pining!Combeferre, who both loves & hates the attention (because he's sure Courfeyrac won't remember in the morning).

Courfeyrac not only remembers the following day but reciprocates Combeferre's feelings

Re: oblivious!Courfeyrac/pining!Combeferre

would modern era be okay?

J/VJ mutual masturbation

They basically kneel on the ground together and lean against one another as they jack off. Please make it painfully sweet.

J/VJ: OMG, my Love is a Hick!

Post-Seine; Valjean and Javert got together.
Things have settled down; Cosette is married, and now Valjean thinks Javert deserves some romance, some (belated) wooing. Unfortunately, Valjean's ideas of romancing come from what he learned 50 years ago, in a small village.
These are things he *knows* you had to do to impress your (lady) love:
- follow her around and help with her work, like with heavy lifting. (A bit complicated when your love is police, but doable.)
- take her to a dance (according to Javert, there are places in Paris where men dance together, but wouldn't it ruin the mood for *everyone* when a Police Inspector turned up there?)
- sing meaningful folksongs when she's near
- take her to the fair, treat her to sweets, trinkets, and most importantly, buy her a gingerbread heart with rhymes on it (- if you made those verses yourself, and your love's name is in it, that's best!)
So Valjean takes Javert to the Foire du Trone (after maybe trying some or all of the other things before).

Javert, being city-raised, is embarrassed by all of this. (But secretly, he also thinks it's sweet. Not that he'd ever admit it.)

Re: J/VJ: OMG, my Love is a Hick!

I feel you, Javert. Currently experiencing this situation and I had a really good laugh. I can picture Valjean pulling out all the nicknames/endearments he heard at one point, too...

criminal!Valjean/undercover!Javert - sex to maintain cover (possible dub-con?)

Valjean got away clean with the bishop's silver and never had his Road-to-Damascus epiphany. Instead, he ends up becoming a powerful fixture in the Parisian underworld, one of Montparnasse's lieutenants.

Enter police spy Javert, dedicated to putting an end to corruption and gangs of thieves. Except, oops, Valjean recognizes him as his former prison guard, and is going to hand him over to Montparnasse. Unless Javert can convince him otherwise...

(fillers' choice whether Valjean blackmails Javert into sex, or whether Javert attempts to seduce him, or whether the attraction/seduction attempt is mutual)

Re: criminal!Valjean/undercover!Javert - sex to maintain cover (possible dub-con?)

I fully endorse this fic!

Not A!A (Anonymous) Expand

The Real Spy - a Dark!fic

Exhibit A: Nobody at the barricade recalls how/when Jehan Prouvaire was taken prisoner; everybody *heard* his execution; nobody *saw* it (or his body).
Exhibit B: A man who never lied, namely Javert, was sent on an undercover mission. Who thought this was a Good Idea? And WHY?

Answer: He was there to help extract/provide cover for the longterm deep-cover agent among the revolutionaries - Jehan Prouvaire.

Which begs two question: Why did Inspector Javert *really* jump from that bridge? Oh, and did he *jump* at all?

Re: The Real Spy - a Dark!fic


Bahorel/Feuilly, internalised homophobia...angst?

Can I please get a Bahorel/Feuilly (with any background pairings you like) also oh god please don't kill me for wanting this.

Bahorel's been best friends with Feuilly as long as he can remember. They've knocked around since forever, and its never been anything more than platonic until now... Bahorel's a grown man. He likes to think of himself as progressive, and he's happy for his non-heteronormative friends.
Recently he's just started feeling, well, attracted to Feuilly, and not just in the he's-my-friend-of-course-we-spend-time-together way but actually, physically attracted, and just maybe he's a little bit in love. He has no idea if Feuilly would reject him or even if it could work out, and he is absolutely not willingly going to talk about it with anybody.

But here's the problem. Bahorel is suddenly warring with his own recently discovered/acknowledged sense of internalised homophobia. Instead of saying something, he lashes out at the slightest suggestion that he is less than 100% manly and straight.

Feuilly's not unaware that something has shifted in their relationship, but he doesn't understand why Bahorel is suddenly extremely standoffish and kind of an actual asshole. Wether or not there's a happy ending is entirely up to you. (I'd love one but please don't make it campy)

J ->VJ, Unrequited love. Married V.

Javert loves Valjean. Valjean is married and has children (may be Cosette is his own daughter? or other children, as you choose). One-sided. Drown me in angst, please.

Javert is devout. Marriage is sacred to him.(And to Valjean either.)

May be first he doesn't now and he investigates Valjean. Following Valjean he discovers they love the same things. But eventially the truth of V's family status comes up.

Can be Au or not. Can be OOC or any versions of Javert and Valjean, I really love them all.

I would really like to know what Valjean thinks of it. May be he loves his wife and 100% straight. May be he is slightly attracted to Javert, but the marriage ties him hand and foot?

If you like the idea of Valjean/Fantine possible dynamics, may be she is an overprotective wife who feels her husband's lost interest toward her? She tries and makes Javert believe he doesn't have any chance? Not that he dares break the family anyway, but that just some more pain.

Or I would really love to read what Javert does to forget Valjean and how that desn't help.

Or Javert and Valjean go somewhere and everyone thinks that's a couple - so perfect for each other they are. And everytime Valjean has to correct that (because of course they aren't) breaks Javert's heart in pieces again and again and again. In the end Javert himself has to correct someone and says it out loud and he's crushed.

My prompts are never filled, so I will be content with anything. Even if you write two sentences, and both turn out to be in Clingon.

Just poke my heart with a knife or two.
Thank you, farewell.

Content with Anything

"MAYBE...maybe it never was right. Maybe I need to just grow up."


"No, you shut up, just...! I know, I KNOW that life doesn't make perfect little unions of people. You and her are content, you work hard, you care about family: it's not perfect, but it works. And that's wonderful. That's all it means, all it should mean. We meld well together, and that's great, it's so great, I--with you...nngh, we could be welded to the hip, and it wouldn't make a difference. You decided on your life already."


"For me...I'm just a cranky, middle-aged cop with a receding hairline and a bad knee. You're perfect, and you should...you should stay that way. I have my life ahead of me still: I could...go to university, get into prosecution, find some guy that doesn't puree my heart just by looking back at me when he should look away in shame. I could be anything."

"Javert, please--"


"YOU let ME talk!"

"...Jean, I can't bear this."

"I adore my family. I'm proud of the life I have, and I always will be. And I will never regret being your friend. Ever."


"I just...I need you to know this. Don't think for one second that you are not important to me. I dearly want you to be happy, I want us to be friends...in a way that doesn't make you snap at a meter maid."

"I can't. You can look inside my head all you want. It won't make me have the strength I need to stay upright when you're so close to me."

"O-One day, this could--"

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. But I do. And you're wrong. For once, you are completely, laughably wrong."


"I...Jean, I need you. And that needs to stop. Because what I need even more than you...is the power to be content with anything. Life is full of cruel jokes like this...!"

"Please don't--Javert, I don't want to hurt you!"

"Then just leave me here. I...I'll find my wallet in my car and get out of here. I just need to look again."

"...She loves you too, you know. We all do."

"...You don't know when to stop. So I take it back! You're not perfect. In fact, you're kind of an asshole. So take your asshole self back to your precious family and life your normal life. I've lived alone before, and I'll do it again."


"DON'T. It's done. Go home, mon ami."


"...Je serai toujours votre ami, Javert."

Re: Content with Anything (Anonymous) Expand
(Deleted comment)
Re: Content with Anything (Anonymous) Expand
Re: Content with Anything (Anonymous) Expand

Bahorel/Feuilly/R's sister

Normally I never ship Bahorel/Feuilly because for me it is wrong in too many reasons. But I imagine Grantaire's sister as a quirkier, badass version of R and I'd love to read awesome sex between these three. I would write it but I don't think I have the talent.
The more humorous the better. :)

Eposette, Curvy!Cosette

Cosette is quite a bit curvier than her waifish girlfriend and is self-conscious about it, but Eponine finds her beyond sexy.

Amis cuddle puddle

One of them is sad so they snuggle it better on the floor of the cafe.


(From Tumblr)

Enjolras refusing to confess his feelings to Grantaire because he has to work for his Cause and he wouldn’t be able to devote as much time to Grantaire as Enjolras assumes he would need to and Grantaire being shocked because the reason he fell in love with Enjolras to begin with was because of his dedication to his Cause and he would never expect to interfere with that or want to interfere with that.

Cue domestic bliss where Enjolras works a lot of the time but leans against Grantaire’s shoulder when he’s organizing over the phone and when he has Skype conferences with contacts Grantaire will bring him a little mug of tea and draw in the corner and they’re both really happy.

Combeferre/Courfeyrac, Grantaire, hurt and confusion

Combeferre is in love with Courfeyrac, who loves him back. But, since Combeferre has no idea what to do/how to seduce him, he decides to do it the roundabout way, ie telling Courfeyrac that he likes 'someone' and asking him for advice on how to seduce them.

This is exactly as terrible a strategy as it sounds, because through Combeferre's descriptions, Courfeyrac has been lead to believe that Combeferre is in love with Grantaire. And instead of Courfeyrac being honorable and graceful and quietly hurting, he starts getting incredibly bitchy and cold towards Grantaire, telling Combeferre that it's hopeless and there's no way his crush likes him back. He's not trying to turn into a bitter asshole, but he's liked Combeferre for ages, and he'd thought that they were getting somewhere, and the rug's been torn out from under him and yeah. He becomes a bitter asshole.

Combeferre is hurt and confused, Grantaire is hurt and confused, Courfeyrac is hurt and confused, Enjolras is confused by his friends' behavior, and also hurt by it, and everything goes to hell in a handbasket.

It all works out in the end, though.


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