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The Les Mis Anon Kink Meme, Round 6
exit pursued by javert
10littlebullets wrote in makinghugospin
Since LJ seems to have finally capitulated to the Russian government and is now subject to Russian anti-obscenity laws, I'm not going to take a chance on sudden deletions. The Les Mis kinkmeme now lives at https://lesmiskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/. (Round 6 here.) Everything has been backed up there. The LJ kinkmeme will stay up, but is now closed to new comments.

Valjean/Javert - Those Three Words

(Anonymous)
Post-Seine/Established relationship.

Valjean loves Javert and often tells him so. Likewise, Javert really wants to tell Valjean he loves him, but as he's Javert, it's not that straight-forward. IDK maybe Javert works up the courage to say it but does so so quietly that Valjean almost thinks he's imagined it or misheard Javert and has to coax it out of him.

I think saying such a thing would be a huge thing for Javert and I would love to see something that focuses on this (apparently middle-aged French guys being sweetly awkward together is now a kink of mine).

Feel free to pile on the angst, fluff, smut, mould it however you wish and if you can make it Quastvert, all the better.
(Frozen) (Thread)

Re: Valjean/Javert - Those Three Words

(Anonymous)
Keep getting images for this. Some might be useful. Tentative claim, but I'm not setting a deadline. But Quast!vert guaranteed.
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

Princess Enjolras

(Anonymous)
I have a creeping feeling that this has been done before but what is Enjolras was a Disney princess? Compleat with anjelic voice, ability to (sometimes inconveniently) attract a multitude of woodland creatures to himself and prince who destiny has already selected for him (anyone is cool, but the more WTF the better, my vote is for Valjean because he is the charitable Everyman who can lift horse carts)

I also would like for him to fully embrace his princessness, claiming it means he is Patria's chosen champion.
(Frozen) (Thread)

Orchestra AU

(Anonymous)
Valjean's the goodnatured conductor who tries to stop his boys scrapping amoungst themselves
Enjolras is the First violin, rest of Amis can play whatever Aa likes.
Javert's the easily annoyed lead French horn player, who finds E a full of himself protegee, and won't admit he loves Valjean.

And they have a very important concert in two months
(Frozen) (Thread) (Expand)

Re: Orchestra AU

(Anonymous)
Yesyesyesyesyes!! I know nothing about orchestras but this sounds like an amazing idea! Joly could always be compulsively cleaning his instrument and Bossuet could always be losing his or dropping it or whatever. Marius and Cosette could be so busy staring at each other that they forget notes and...
Okay Im ranting now, so I'm going to stop. Basically I will bring brownies that Jehan baked for the person who fills this.
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

Combferre/Any Ami

(Anonymous)
Neck kissing/biting. That's it. Just plenty of it and descriptive!:)
Bonus for hair tugging/pulling.
Extra bonus if the other Ami is Courfeyrac,Enjolras or Grantaire!
(Frozen) (Thread) (Expand)

Re: Combferre/Any Ami

(Anonymous)
Do you care if Ferre is the biter or the bitee?
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

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Javert has breasts

(Anonymous)
One night, Madeleine is out giving alms when milk is tossed on to him from an apartment window, he calls up and to his suprise, Javert peaks from the open window.

As it turns out the inspector began developing lactating breasts for no reason what so ever afew weeks prior and, being Javert, never went to the doctor. It has gotten to the point that he keeps having to empty them so that they don't leak through his uniform, he then would toss the milk out the window. Naturally, Madeleine offers to help his dear Inspector out. Can end in sexy time or just be a weird bonding thing they start doing.

+One bouncing baby goat if Madeleine remarks that Javert's milk is too thin and watery and that the Inspector needs to eat more and Javert actually listens.
(Frozen) (Thread) (Expand)

*Cackles*

I may or may not fill this, no promises being made, but this is perfect...
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

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J/M/B smutty smut

(Anonymous)
I've seen a few similar prompts but they never seem to get filled. But anyway, just super smutty Joly/Bossuet/Chetta.
(Frozen) (Thread)

E/R

(Anonymous)
I'm kinda having moulin rouge feels and idek why or how it started so I thought why not make these feelings WORSE by prompting sth E/R????

I want E/R breaking up because of whatever reason you choose (can be 'secret illness' if you want to) and grantaire just goes "thanks for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love"

or maybe they weren't even dating but enjolras does sth awful (without really realizing how much it would hurt R) and Grantaire stops believing in love and in everything alltogether and he changes and it's horrible and enjolras has to win him back??????????

omg i don't even how to express what I want know how do one do words aoijkkspkaojsokkpakjpo I just want sth with the quote because I love it
(Frozen) (Thread)

I did a thing with the quote because I can relate to your moulin rouge feels tbh

http://archiveofourown.org/works/946287

It's not much but
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

OP (Anonymous) Expand

Combeferre x Grantaire

(Anonymous)
shhhhhhh they are my secret otp

They hook up in a party once, they both shrug it off as a drunk mistake and they don't really need to talk about it because it's not like it's going to happen again, except it does.

It becomes a thing.

And then it becomes more than a thing because suddenly FEELINGS HAPPEN
(Frozen) (Thread) (Expand)

Re: Combeferre x Grantaire

(Anonymous)
yes please. the fandom is always in need of more combeferre x grantaire.
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

Fill, I guess.. 1\? (Anonymous) Expand
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E/R sexual insecurities

(Anonymous)
Enjolras is a 20-something virgin who hasn't even kissed anyone, and is majorly insecure about it. He wants to kiss and have sex (specifically with Grantaire) but he thinks that everyone expects people to get the "wow I have no idea what I am doing how do you kiss" phase of physical intimacy out of the way before you turn 20. So he thinks clearly Grantaire wouldn't want to deal with that so he doesn't act on his feelings for Grantaire.

Of course then they end up becoming a couple anyway and Enjolras is petrified that he's going to disappoint Grantaire. Grantaire has to let him know that, no, really, it's fine, he is more than happy to show Enjolras the ropes.

BONUS if the first few times they kiss/fuck it is kind of awkward and fumbling, but they keep it fun and low-pressure and after a few times it becomes great for both of them.

Also bonus for Grantaire being nervous also because shit he doesn't want Enjolras to have an awful first kiss/time, he wants to make them as nice and special as possible, so they are both nervous and they communicate that and then kind of laugh about it together cause wow aren't they a pair.

(also if you include any penetrative sex, bonus for bottom!Enjolras.)
(Frozen) (Thread)

GSM Amis (and Patron-Minette)

(Anonymous)
(GSM = gender and sexual minority)

Things that would be great:

ace!Enjolras
demi!Enjolras
pansexual!Combeferre
agender!Ferre
aesthetic-gray-ace!Feuilly
aromantic!Claquesous
genderfluid!Sous
bigender!Babet.

+1000 bigender!Babet/genderfluid!Claquesous
+10 Bahorel mistaking aesthetic attraction for sexual attraction (because [fanon] Bahorel is giant and tan and beautiful) and bright-red Feuilly has to explain the difference
+100 pan!Courf/agender!Ferre
(Frozen) (Thread)

Enjolras is Not a Cat (The One Where Enjolras is Autistic)

(Anonymous)
My heart yearns for some autisticjolras fic, which seems to not be a thing yet. This despite the fact that many fics have variously characterized Enjolras as obsessed with only one thing, unable to process conversation in real time, communicating in quotes/echololaically, having trouble doing things like cooking or laundry, having poor motor skills, etc. So! Please write a thing where he is purposefully and explicitly autistic/Autistic. Sensory processing differences in the fic are a must. Though there are a few nonautistic people who can write autistic characters well, an autistic author is much preferred.

Also, I have a plotbunny drawn gratuitously from my own experiences that is totally optional, but in case anyone needed ideas: Modern AU where Enjolras has gotten by without a diagnosis, or he was diagnosed as a child but not told. In any case, he hasn't known. He's always been odd, and always a stranger to the world, but he's gotten by. Until he graduates from school, and has to live on his own, and everything slowly comes crashing down. On a particularly bad day, he's in his pajamas and he hasn't eaten and he's staring between the research on his laptop and the cell phone he doesn't remember picking up, and he is frozen and frustrated at getting stuck, blankly unable to remember how to switch tasks. That's when Combeferre lets himself in, as usual, and upon seeing Enjolras stuck, calmly guides him through going to the phone and ordering food, as usual. Somewhere in between scripting his order and dialing the number, a still-frustrated Enjolras grits out an, I. I am bad at being a person, and Combeferre sighs and says, No. I think you're just autistic.Enjolras doesn't process it until later and another research binge, but then, then it all makes sense. He's autistic. And he's furious. At Combeferre, at his family, at everyone who's known him and never noticed it, this deep part of him that people are trying to kill him for. No one told him. And then after eons, the thing that marks it getting better is, strangely, meeting Marius's girlfriend, Cosette. She moves like him. She is functional and pretty and was almost killed once and she moves like him. And he discovers community and identity and starts saying Austistic with a capital A, and maybe, just maybe, he can do this.

Um, what else? Er, I don't mind shipping, though gen may be better. I like E/R although Enjolras with any boy is fine by me. My plot includes discussion of ableism, so that is welcome in any fill, obviously. Abuse and sexual assault and institutionalization are frightening, but realities for a lot of disabled people, so I'm good with that too. Um.

PLEASE FILL THIS PROMPT WOW THANKS
(Frozen) (Thread)

Re: Enjolras is Not a Cat (The One Where Enjolras is Autistic)

(Anonymous)
I could never, ever do this prompt justice, but this is like the... first Autistic prompt that doesn't make me feel really uncomfortable/want to tear my eyes out/etc. so omg I hope someone fills this. (And I'm suddenly full of Cosette feelings oh no.) 3000000000000 puppies for anyone who does fill because this... wow. Yes.
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

Enjolras/Grantaire

(Anonymous)
From Tumblr:

Enjolras keeps inviting R to protest and rallies and meetings and R keeps going because.. Well.. It’s Apollo asking him. What R doesn’t know is that in Enjolras’ mind all of these meetings and rallies are actually dates, cuz he’s totally romantically-stunned and has no idea most people wouldn’t think of overthrowing the government as dating.
(Frozen) (Thread) (Expand)

Re: Enjolras/Grantaire

(Anonymous)
Working on a fill. I'm moving tomorrow morning, so you might have to wait a few days, but it's coming.
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

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Bahorel/Grantaire (TW: underage)

(Anonymous)
They're sixteen and awkward and embarrassingly scared of losing their virginity to the wrong person, so they figure why not just have their first time be with their best friend who they care about a ton and would trust with just about anything?

(Frozen) (Thread)

Re: Bahorel/Grantaire (TW: underage)

(Anonymous)
please someone fill this it's the best prompt ever
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

Any/Any, female submissive

(Anonymous)
Okay, I feel bad about this, but here goes: I want a relationship in which a female is a sub to a male. Preferably not a total power exchange, but rather just a sex thing, pre-negotiated and fun for all.

Pairings I'd love include Combeferre/Eponine, female!Combeferre/male!Eponine, female!Grantaire/Enjolras, or female!Jehan/Courfeyrac, but anything would work.

Bonus points for spanking, daddy kink or watersports.
(Frozen) (Thread)

Re: Any/Any, female submissive

(Anonymous)
Seconding, especially for female!Grantaire.
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

Valvert: D/s handlicking

(Anonymous)
One is made to lick the others hand as punishment in front of a crowd.
(Frozen) (Thread)

Centaurvert the Stud Stallion

(Anonymous)
Since Javert and reproduction seems to be a thing lately...

Turns out male centaurs, when mated with a mare, produce another horse, but one that is larger, smarter, and stronger than ordinary horses. Knowing this, the Paris police force demands of Centaurvert that he helps them to fill their stables with these uberhorses.

Of course Centaurvert is obedient to the authorities, but he must admit to his human lover Valjean that he isn't sure how he feels being sire to foals that will be ridden by his colleagues. Plus the actual mating and all... it's not that he considers it total bestiality, but it's weird and unsettling, and besides, he has a lover. Even if he doesn't think that doing his job constitutes infidelity, he has to admit it's close.

It all makes Valjean feel weird too, for all the reasons above, but mostly because he hates the centaur he loves being treated like a beast. But he still feels he has to be supportive! So... can he help Javert get out of it, or will the centaur cop fulfill his duty to the Law?
(Frozen) (Thread)

Re: Centaurvert the Stud Stallion

(Anonymous)
I love this, and I love you as well OP.
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

Les Amis, First Revolution AU

(Anonymous)
So it's canon that Enjolras is basicallythr second coming of Saint-Just and would've been a Robespierrist. But what about the other Amis? Would Combeferre's 'gentle soul' led him to push for more clemency for the Dantonists and others? Would Bahorel's wild ways have radicalized him? Would Marius be a monarchist? Would Grantaire? I could see Jehan getting into pamphleteering in a big way...

So basically,Five Scenes From the First Revolution
(Frozen) (Thread)

Combeferre/Enjolras, Life Partners

(Anonymous)
I just really want partner fluff about the two of them completing each other; Enjolras the fire in Combeferre's belly, Combeferre the guardrails to keep Enjolras from going too far. The two of them working together, living together, fighting together, (preferably) growing old together. Any sort of fix about the two of them with their relationship as central to each others lives.
(Frozen) (Thread)

Enjolras&Combeferre, Hurt/Comfort, Stutter

(Anonymous)
I need a fic where the Amis are at a rally where things go bad and fighting breaks out and the Amis are trying to get away, but in the processes, Enjolras gets hit on the head and is knocked out cold. When he wakes up, he finds he has a pretty severe stutter.

Enjolras attempts to get on with his day to day life, but the simplest things become difficult... He can't hold rallies anymore because he feels he can no longer capture the people's spirits with his stutter, he can't even hold meetings with the Amis anymore because he's too embarrassed (because all of them are so p a t i e n t. He could be caught on a single sound for ten minutes and they wouldn't make a sound to interrupt him). These new difficulties irritate him easily and make him quick to lash out. Long story short, Enjolras starts to distant himself from his friends.

This is when Combeferre knocks on the door of his flat one night and talks to him and comforts him and calms him down (I would really, really love E just breaking down for him because this situation really fucking SUCKS). I'd really love 'Ferre gently coaxing Enjolras out of his flat and back to the Amis.

The ending can be decided by the author c:

*I would prefer platonic love between 'Ferre and E, but it's not necessary.

BONUS:
- The Amis area still all really worried about E and still try to engaging and talk to him (because they think talking regularly will reduce it). So sweet, lovely Amis.
-Super extra worried Courfeyrac texting 'Ferre constantly to see how E is.
-Teary/misty-eyed/maybe even crying Enjolras.
(Frozen) (Thread) (Expand)

Re: Enjolras&Combeferre, Hurt/Comfort, Stutter

(Anonymous)
Y E S !!!! This has the ability to be both heartbreaking and touching at the same time. Kittens and rainbows to whoever fills this. Maybe even rainbow kittens...
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

Bahorel/Feuilly: NewGuy!Feuilly

(Anonymous)
When Feuilly first started coming to meeting with at the Musain Bahorel suddenly goes really quiet and shy because the new guy, R, look at him!

Or something like that but I really need some shy, stuttering Bahorel.

+ Bahorel and Grantaire are best friends.
(Frozen) (Thread)

Help me Scratch my Id, Please!

(Anonymous)
We need a pinch of amour fou up in here.
In the Brick, the Cosette/Marius!True Love has a more believable timeline: all through April and May, they secretly meet in the garden at Rue Plumet 5 after dark. But of course, Marius is utterly pontmercy respectful!
Now, let's assume there's kissing and some light petting, which leaves Cosette increasingly hot and bothered after Marius departs. Until one night, she sees a police inspector patrolling by the garden. She asks him to come inside, one thing leads to another, and a second, non-platonic secret affair begins...
Additional points:
- Javert doesn't find out about her connection to Valjean - if Cosette gives him a name at all, it's "Euphrasie".
- Please don't play up the age difference; they're all near-virgins following their instincts here.
- I'd prefer Crowevert; on second thought - Quastvert is possible, too: it's just a very different flavour (see www( )youtu()be()com/watch?v=joRUFMwqP3g for what I mean). But whatever floats your boat.

Tl, dr?: Javert/Cosette; in the garden; Last Polka in Paris (as tango wasn't invented yet)

(Frozen) (Thread)

Re: Help me Scratch my Id, Please!

(Anonymous)
Soooooooo seconded! Especially with THAT song in mind. Rawr!
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

Modern Au - Brazilian Butt LIft Workout

(Anonymous)
Enjolras walks in on the rest of the Amis (plus Cosette, Musichetta, and Eponine) crammed into his living room and using his very large tv screen to do the Brazilian Butt LIft Workout, also using the strange lingo from the program and saying things like "bum bum" and "holy hottie".
(Frozen) (Thread)

Don't know if it's been asked before, but...

Bahorel's laughing mistress is the only one who doesn't take his shit and the only one who can actually kick his ass.

Bahorel is actually TERRIFIED of his mistress. TERRIFIED I tell you.
(Frozen) (Thread)

The Last Of Us/Zombie AU

(Anonymous)
Joel!Valjean ends up having to protect Ellie!Cosette in a broken world filled with zombies and morally bankrupt humans.

I just really need badass valjean sniping zombies and making improvised weapons while being a giant papa bear ok
(Frozen) (Thread)

Custody battle

(Anonymous)
Modern au

Valjean adopted Cosette after her mother died. However a year or two later Félix Tholomyès appears and starts custody proceedings, claiming Cosette should be with him as he is her birth father.

Valjean (Javert at his side finds himself embroiled in a court dispute, and Cosette sent off to a foster home in the meantime.

I'd actully like it if an inital decision didn't go their way, maybe Javert has to nag Valjean to get him to try again
(Frozen) (Thread)

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