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The Les Mis Anon Kink Meme, Round 6
exit pursued by javert
10littlebullets wrote in makinghugospin
Since LJ seems to have finally capitulated to the Russian government and is now subject to Russian anti-obscenity laws, I'm not going to take a chance on sudden deletions. The Les Mis kinkmeme now lives at https://lesmiskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/. (Round 6 here.) Everything has been backed up there. The LJ kinkmeme will stay up, but is now closed to new comments.

Crossover Time! The Second Life (and Death?) of Snape

Being an accomplished spy, Snape had a Plan B, of course: it was a close call in the Shrieking Shack, but he came to again, took the potions he'd prepared - and used the time-turner he'd acquired long ago. Plus long-distance apparition (wouldn't do to stay in Britain - he's wishes to avoid accidentally killing a great-great-grandparent).

He landed in 1820-ish France. He made his way to Paris, determined to avoid the Wizarding community - they'd take a dim view to unauthorized time-travel and either send him to *the French Wizard Prison* or back to when and where he came from.
So he uses magic most sparingly, mostly for household chores (warm water, quick cooking and cleaning of clothes and floors) plus improving his French. But a Potions Master can brew lucrative things like absinth or perfumes without using magic, if he needs Muggle money.
He also needed a new name: first name was easy -"Severin" (not that he uses it), family name ... he had to sign something, mused about making something French-sounding out of "Prince", but starting with "R", maybe, when the official said: "Sorry, but you're not allowed to sign with a rebus, Monsieur... Grantaire?"

In short, he lived for a few years a free, happy loner, until he met this group of likeable young students and started to hang with them. But after a while he realized this was another group of Children Preparing to go to War... This time, he promised himself, he would successfully protect them.

And that's where *your* fill comes in, I hope.
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Enjolras/Grantaire: Another Reincarnation!AU


The Amis are all reincarnation with the memories of the Barricades when Enjolras and Grantaire (and the rest of the Amis if the author wants) somehow end up in a life/death situation, and Grantaire confesses to Enjolras that he loves him because he doesn't want to die again without telling him.

Of course then they leave *insert life/death situation here* alive and well.

Up to author how Enjolras reacts but OP would love a fluffy ending.
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Modern au where Valjean converts to Buddhism (or some other Eastern religion). Because he totally would. And Cosette tries to be supportive but deep down thinks it's weird and wishes he would just be normal.
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Enjolras/Grantaire, lap sitting

They get together, and Grantaire ditches his back-of-the-room seat for Enjolras's lap.

Pretty much just that. Enjolras doing his speeches and leading, and Grantaire arguing with him (or just sitting and admiring) from a lot closer.
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Re: Enjolras/Grantaire, lap sitting

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Valjean kneels in the church.
He takes out his yellow passport and stares at it.
Ya ill intent was insurance for my benefit
Hate to be inconsiderate
But the Industry took my innocence
Too late, now I'm in this bitch!

He turns towards the altar, and the crucifix above it.

You don't know the half
This shit get real
Valley girls giving blowjobs for Louboutins
What you call that?
Head over heels
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i'm so confused but i cnat stop laughing????
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Valjean dies rescuing Javert

Valjean dives in to the Seine after Javert, dragging the Inspector to shore but sacrificing himself in turn.

I need a good cry, DELIVER KINK MEME!
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Re: Valjean dies rescuing Javert

Jean Valjean straggled out of Gillenormand's home, paid the fiacre, and got inside. He scrunched himself into the corner of the backseat so that he wouldn't get Marius' blood on his trousers. It was nearly midnight. The streetlamps lit reminded him of that night eight years ago when he had come to Paris with Cosette. He couldn't believe he had spent the whole day at Gillenormand's place, especially not when the old man and his daughter had been so obviously trying to rush him out of the house. Even though he had saved Marius, they could instinctively tell that he wasn't their kind.
Valjean rode in silence along the cobblestone streets. He felt as though he could never do anything again. Even thinking of Cosette did not detract from his exhaustion. For the first time in his life since he went to Toulon, he felt his age, maybe older.
Suddenly Valjean heard a dull thud in the direction of the Seine. Looking out the window of the fiacre, he realized that it had been a splash. Someone had deliberately jumped into the river--or been thrown in. Before the driver knew it, Valjean had departed the fiacre, ran across the street, and stood at the bank of the river, peering in desperately to try to discern where this unfortunate soul had landed. Only a vague ripple betrayed any impact, illuminated softly by the yellow streetlamps mingled with the yellow light of the moon.
Valjean had attempted a water rescue once before, in Toulon. The smell of the salty sea waves, the crashing of the ship against the docks, the clink of the iron chains, it all came flooding back to him. And there, at the heart of it all, was a police inspector's cap, bobbing on the surface of the water. Valjean instinctively knew that it belonged to Javert. Without thinking, he dived into the rapids.
The moment he submerged himself below the surface, Valjean felt his exhaustion take hold of him once more. Through the refracted light, he made out the Inspector's tall, lanky form just a few meters away from him. He made his way over to the Inspector, not knowing if he was alive or dead, and hooped his right arm against Javert's waist. Every kick, every paddle was agony.
Desperately, Valjean hoisted Javert's head above the surface moments before his own. When he looked up, everything was pitch black. He could not tell where the nearest shore was, or even which way was upstream. He started to cry for help, but the second he opened his mouth, it flooded with Seine water, and he spat it out bitterly.
Valjean, disoriented, began swimming to the farther bank of the river. The bridge from which Javert had jumped loomed above him, and he felt as though he were in the sewers once more. Only this time, the dark heart of Paris was swirling around him, ready to devour him whole.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the two bodies made their way to the shore. Valjean lay his head down on the cold stone, regaining his breath. Javert lay splayed out in front of him, and all Valjean could see was the Inspector's shallow breathing.
When Valjean looked up, he made out the figure of a young man approaching them. The young man did not recognize him, but Valjean immediately recognized the young man. It was the insurgent whom he had saved at the barricade the previous night. He was still wearing Valjean's National Guard uniform.
The young man pulled out a gun and looked at Valjean with an expression of pure hatred. "Which of you is the police spy?" he demanded.
Jean Valjean looked him squarely in the eye.
"I am," he said.
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Les Amis crack

Les Amis are strippers. Whether they're stripping ironically or for the revolution, I don't care. As long as Enjolras has a tricolore feather boa.
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Homestuck AU: the Barricade Boys & Co. play Sburb

okay, i've been playing around w/ this idea in my head for a while, but never really did anything about it but.

the barricade boys (and pref cosette, 'ponine, 'chetta, maybe gavroche and 'zelma?) play Sburb (prob a modern AU here). this is a p open-ended prompt, but this is what i ask:

grantaire is the bard of hope.

a tumblr post i saw ages ago, before i even had an account myself, basically explained "hope" as being analogous to "belief" (much like "light" is to "luck"), and said that eridan's science wand had all those fancy powers because he "believed" in science. we all know what R believes in.

so, i'd like to see R secretly ascend to godtier (on the Homestuck meme i saw a prompt for roxy to pass out on her quest bed and die from alcohol poisoning, and i'm still upset that didn't happen in canon, so maybe that happens to him???) and he never tells anyone b/c he's embarrassed about how he died, or wears his GT outfit b/c CODPIECE.

then, for whatever reason, enjolras dies (i'd honestly prefer him having ascended and dying a heroic death) and R, heartbroken, kisses him b/c he never got to or s/t, and, woah, lo and behold, the only thing he believes in is brought back to life.

and that's basically what i have so far, idk what the other ought to be cast as; i can see courf as the something of heart (maybe an heir?), 'ferre would prob have the mind aspect (or maybe life, i can see him as a hero of life), marius is totes a page but i don't know of what, ep is a thief or rouge of some sort, u could make bossuet a hero of light for kicks, just have fun man, idk. sorry this prompt is starting to get kind of long, my HSKM instincts are starting to kick in.
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Crossover: Wolverine is Jean Valjean

Wolverine is Jean Valjean. He winds up in Toulon under false charges and could escape whenever he wanted to, but he stays as penance for all the deaths and losses of his loved ones.

He was given a special gadget from Xavier (or someone he is willing to trust) to inhibit his healing factor and give him a chance to live a semi normal life. Getting stuck in France in the 1800s wasn't part of the plan. But Wolverine adapts.

Things proceed as in the original story and Toulon leads Wolverine to forget his humanity. The Bishop revives the man in him and gives Wolverine the courage to try living a different life. No one knows who he really is after all. He is, in a strange way, free. Except for Javert, annoying pup, who keeps hounding him.

Then there is Fantine, the woman who slowly steals his heart and the child Cosette...

It doesn't have to go exactly like that of course, but I most certainly would love to see a story where Valjean is Wolverine and how that could change things up.
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Pirates of Penzance AU

With Javert as the sergeant of the police, though he doesn't have to be any kind of coward really...

Marius would be Frederic, who got put in with the wrong band of people and then tried to help the police but was unable to due to a sense of duty.

Cosette as Mabel, though I suppose that would make Valjean General Stanley. :P

Any pairings are fine, as long as the general plot is followed, though I prefer Valjean/Javert
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Re: Pirates of Penzance AU

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Enjolras does not fit in modern day society.

Repost from Round 5 (not original prompter, but I need this like woah):

"In a surprising twist of events, Enjolras is the 'loser' sitting at the front of the classroom who no one likes. Why? Because of his radical left views (regarding overthrowing the government); his tendency to drop into political speeches at a moment's notice makes people avoid him LIKE THE PLAGUE.

Like seriously, he sits in class and people would rather sit next to the guy with bad BO than sit next to Enjolras. There is a 2m circle of space around him when he sits on the bus. Enjolras recites his speeches to ducks and pigeons because not even his parents want to listen to him. He has no friends because he's 'no fun', and because he's also shockingly unsympathetic about people's small problems (ie 'I'm so scared my boyfriend's going to leave me' - 'your ancestors fought for women's rights and this is how you repay them?') - which comes off to other people as selfishness/pretentiousness/preaching/judgment. He may or may not also get punched in the face a lot.

Enter the Amis, or an Ami/Cosette/Eponine, who teaches him that it's okay to be himself. Genfic or pairings, I don't mind!"
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Re: Enjolras does not fit in modern day society.

While this Enjolras appears to be probably the most rejected and disliked person ever, it doesn't sound like he doesn't think it's okay to be himself or was making any effort to tone down the almost over-the-top obnoxiousness.
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Marius/Cosette, Cosette/Others - consensual infidelity

Madame Pontmercy is infamous. She's slept with every man in town and a fair few of the women. The things she's willing to do in bed are legendary. Everyone assumes Monsieur Pontmercy, sweet, naive and hopelessly in love with her, is utterly oblivious.

Plot twist: he totally knows, and Cosette does this because they both get off on it really hard. When Cosette comes home from her 'exploits', Marius makes love to her slowly and reverently, kissing and worshipping every place she's been touched by another.

Bonus: the townspeople-or-whatever have some sort of mocking nickname for Cosette, "the Whore of Wherevervania" or something wittier than that, and Marius calls her that when they're alone in complete adoration.
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Re: Marius/Cosette, Cosette/Others - consensual infidelity

A+ prompt and I really hope it gets filled!
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Enjolras/Amis, secret affairs

Enjolras has a thing with all the Amis. The thing is, they all think they're the only one he has a thing with. Enjolras doesn't feel a particular need to tell them he has secret little affairs with every one of them - on the contrary, he asks them to keep it their little secret. They agree to his terms and remain none the wiser.

Optional bonuses:
- They all play along with the idea that Enjolras is still a virgin, because they all believe they're the only person to know he's not.
- Some of the Amis suspect that he's sleeping with several of them, but keep quiet because they don't want to break their little promise, especially if it turns out they're wrong.
- Joly and Bossuet share.
- Marius is part of the equation.
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Any Ami; Head shave

something with someone getting their head shaved whether it be for a good cause or not this is all i want
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Re: Any Ami; Head shave

Potential filler here-- Would you be okay with Enjolras forcefully getting his head shaved by the National Guard, as sort of an act of degradation/humiliation? If not, that's cool :) Just wanted to run it by you.
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Re: Any Ami; Head shave (Anonymous) Expand
Re: Any Ami; Head shave (Anonymous) Expand
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Javert/Marius Gunkink. Non/dub-con

After Javert is exposed as a spy on the barricade, Marius is told to keep watch over him for a while. Javert is his usual sassy self and tries to needle Marius in to shooting him. Instead, Marius either (a) fucks Javert face down ass up with one of the guns or (b) takes the Inspector himself and makes Javert blow the pistol.

Bonus for:
.crying (either party)
.dirty talk
.regretful Marius trying to hug it better after the fact but knowing what he has done is unforgivable.
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Ok, so Coufeyrac makes homemade popsicle in a shape of male anatomy.
During a game of truth or dare, he dares Enjolras to eat it. And everyone (especially Grantaire) gets turned on to certain degrees.

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Jehan/Courfeyrac - ageplay

So Jehan and Courfeyrac take ageplay as a lifestyle. Baby!Jehan and Daddy!Courfeyrac
Because Jehan in diapers and sucking on a pacifier is something that needs to happen. And Courfeyrac would be such a wonderful Daddy! =)

I'm okay if it becomes sexual, but it doesn't have to.

- if Les Amis (or some of them) know and sometimes babysit and spoil baby!Jehan to no end
-baby!Jehan has a favorite and VERY fluffy stuffed animal (Cosette's gift, maybe? I have this headcanon that they're bff's)

But I'm really not that picky, just ageplay with my OTP is enough =D
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Re: Jehan/Courfeyrac - ageplay

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Silly Marius, tricks are for kids!

That's it. That's the prompt.
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Enjolras' father was abusive

Enjolras disapproves of Grantaire's excessive drinking because his father was an abusive drunkard. This is revealed one day when all the Amis start harping on Enjolras for being so hard on R.
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Re: Enjolras' father was abusive

I've had this headcanon for ages but not gotten around to prompting it! Please someone write this!
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beneath the lash, upon the rack

I was re-reading an old Toulon-era fill that mentioned the rack being used as punishment. I have no idea how historically accurate that would be, but it made me want to read fic about Valjean suffering on the rack.

Any pairing or none at all is fine, I just want medieval torture and whump.
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Rare Pairings: Cosette/Montparnasse

There's a reason no one ships it. Let's find out what that reason is.
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Re: Rare Pairings: Cosette/Montparnasse

i mean what i
who said that
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Cockslut Enjolras

That's it that's the prompt.

Enjolras being a willing cockslut for the rest of the Amis and getting come all over his face and maybe being fucked by two people at once.

Please no dubcon or noncon, scat, or watersports
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Re: Cockslut Enjolras

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write us a brick, you're the hugo man

Les Mis parody/filk of Piano Man with Hugo as the piano man
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Re: write us a brick, you're the hugo man

We're back on the old-school calendar.
And I'm hanging out in exile.
There's an old man who is visiting
Me upon this microscopic isle.

He says, "Sir, can you write a biography
I can't really say I know whose.
But it's sad and it's long.
I knew it like a song
Back when I had nothing to lose."

Write us a brick, you're the novelist
Including my wife's dad.
Cause we're all in the mood for some memories
That make us feel miserably sad.

Azelma's just another emigrant.
She'll happily talk to me.
But she stares at the waves, towards the uprising slaves
And there's someplace that she'd rather be.

She says, "Vic, I know I don't deserve this."
As we talk and we sip from a drink.
And she looks at boats on the horizon
She's wondering which ones will sink.

Cosette's an excitable mother
Still glad to be Marius' wife.
She talks with two brothers, who don't know the others
Who helped them out early in life.

And everyone's speaking of politics
But the businessmen all are corrupt.
Though my friends share a deep camaraderie
Sometimes they look down on their luck.

Write us a brick for a barricade
Write us a brick today
Well we're all in the mood for some history
And maybe we're feeling okay.

It's a pretty sad crowd that's surrounding me
And their faces continue to plead.
Cause they know I'm the one, that when their days are done,
People will continue to read.

And my poems all sound very romantic
And my paintings I hid out of sight
They choose love and not hate, they put bread on my plate
They say "Visit Waterloo tonight."

Write us a brick, you're the narrator
Write us a brick tonight.
Well we're all in the mood for some reprises
Until someday we get it right.
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AU: Mermaid Fantine

All other details of Les Mis being the same, what if Fantine had been a sea-girl lured to the surface world by Tholomyes? Would Cosette hear the call of the sea? Would the lead to her falling in love with Marius Merpontcy? YOU TELL ME.
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Re: AU: Mermaid Fantine

Not going to lie, Marius Merpontcy would break my heart. Valjean would literally not be able to follow her into that new life.
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Re: AU: Mermaid Fantine (Anonymous) Expand
i have had a particularly stressful and not fun day so i would love some relaxing fluff, preferably combeferre/courfeyrac or e/R

thanks in advance!!!
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